| I have a friend, he’s mostly made of pain
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| He wakes up, drives to work and straight back home again
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| He once cut one of my nightmares out of paper
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| I thought it was beautiful, I put it on a record cover
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| And I tried to tell him he had a sense
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| Of color and composition so magnificent
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| And he said, «Thank you, please
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| But your flattery
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| It’s truly not becoming me
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| Your eyes are poor, you’re blind you see
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| No beauty could have come from me
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| I’m a waste
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| Of breath, of space, of time»
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| I knew a woman, she was dignified and true
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| Her love for her man was one of her many virtues
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| Until one day she found out that he had lied
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| And decided the rest of her life from that point on would be a lie
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| She was grateful for everything that had happened
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| And she was anxious for all that would come next
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| But then she wept, what did you expect?
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| In that big old house with the car she kept
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| And, «Such is life,» she often said
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| With one day leading to the next
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| You get a little closer to your death
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| Which was fine with her, she never got upset
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| And with all the days she may have left
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| She would never clean another mess
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| Or fold his shirts or look her best
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| She was free
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| To waste away alone
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| Last night, my brother he got drunk and drove
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| And this cop he pulled him off to the side of the road
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| And he said, «Officer, officer, you’ve got the wrong man
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| No, no, I’m a student of medicine, a son of a banker, you don’t understand»
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| The cop said, «No one got hurt, you should be thankful
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| And your carelessness, it is something awful
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| And no, I can’t just let you go
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| And though your father’s name is known
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| Your decisions now are yours alone
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| You’re nothing but a stepping stone
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| On a path
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| To debt, to loss, to shame»
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| The last few months I’ve been living with this couple
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| Yeah, you know the kind who buy everything in doubles
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| Yeah, they fit together like a puzzle
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| I love their love, and I am thankful
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| That someone actually receives the prize that was promised
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| By all those fairy tales that drugged us
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| And still do me, I’m sick, lonely
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| No laurel tree, just green envy
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| Will my number come up eventually?
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| Like love’s some kind of lottery
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| Where you scratch and see what’s underneath
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| It’s sorry, just one cherry
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| I’ll play again, get lucky
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| So now I hang out down by the train’s depot
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| No, I don’t ride, I just sit and watch the people there
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| They remind me of windup cars in motion
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| The way they spin and turn and jockey for positions
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| And I want to scream out that it all is nonsense
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| And their life’s one track and can’t they see it’s pointless?
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| But just then my knees give under me
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| My head feels weak and suddenly
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| It’s clear to see it’s not them but me
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| Who’s lost my self-identity
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| And I hide behind these books I read
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| While scribbling my poetry
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| Like art could save a wretch like me
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| With some ideal ideology
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| That no one could hope to achieve
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| And I’m never real, it’s just a sketch of me
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| And everything I’ve made is trite and cheap
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| And a waste
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| Of paint, of tape, of time
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| So I park my car down by the cathedral
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| Where the floodlights point up at the steeples
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| Choir practice is filling up with people
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| I hear the sound escaping as an echo
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| Sloping off the ceiling at an angle
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| When the voices blend they sound like angels
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| I hope there’s some room still in the middle
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| But when I lift my voice up now to reach them
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| The range is too high way up in heaven
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| So I hold my tongue, forget the song
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| Tie my shoes, start walking off
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| And try to just keep moving on
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| With my broken heart and my absent God
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| And I have no faith but it’s all I want
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| To be loved, and believe
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| In my soul, in my soul |