Lyrics Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren GunUSESK0615094Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun - Noël Coward

Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren GunUSESK0615094Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun - Noël Coward
Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren GunUSESK0615094Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun, artist - Noël Coward.
Date of issue: 18.07.2011
Song language: English

Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren GunUSESK0615094Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun

Colonel Montmorency who was in Calcutta in ninety-two
Emerged from his retirement for the War
He wasn’t very pleased with all he heard and all he saw
But whatever he felt, he tightened his belt and organised a Corps
Poor Colonel Montmorency thought considering all the wars he’d faught
The Home Guard was his job to do or die
But after days and weeks and years, bravely drying his many tears
He wrote the following letter to the Minister of Supply
Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun?
Or failing that, a hand grenade will do
We’ve got some ammunition, in a rather damp condition
And Major Huss has a arquebus that was used at Waterloo
With the Vicar’s stirrup pump, a pitchfork and a stave
It’s rather hard to guard an aerodrome
So if you can’t oblige us with a Bren gun
The Home Guard might as well go home
Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun?
We’re getting awfully tired of drawing lots
Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment
And just for a prank, they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots
On Sunday’s mock invasion, Captain Clark was heard to say
He hadn’t even got a brush and comb
So if you can’t oblige us with a Bren gun
The Home Guard might as well go home
Colonel Montmorency planned, in case the enemy tried to land
To drive them back with skill and armoured force
He realised his army should be mechanised, of course
But somewhere inside, experience cried «My Kingdom for a horse»
Poor Colonel Montmorency tried, at infinite cost to time and pride
To tackle his superiors again
Having just one motorbike, fourteen swords and a marlin spike
He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain
Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun?
We need it very badly, I’m afraid
Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver
But during a short attack on a fort, the trigger got mislaid
In course of operations planned for Friday afternoon
Our orders are to storm the Hippodrome
So if you can’t oblige us with a Bren gun
The Home Guard might as well go home
Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun?
The lack of one is wounding to our pride
Last night we found the cutest, little German parachutist
He looked at our kit and giggled a bit, and laughed until he cried
We’ll have to hide that armoured car when marching to Berlin
We’d almost be ashamed of it in Rome
So if you can’t oblige us with a Bren gun
The Home Guard might as well go home

Share lyrics:

Write what you think about the lyrics!

Other songs of the artist:

NameYear
London Pride 2015
I Travel Alone 2010
Dance, Little Lady 2010
Zigeuner 2010
World Weary 2010
Imagine The Duchess's Feelings! 2010
Mary Make-Believe 2010
I'm Old Fashioned 2010
You Were There 2010
Mrs. Worthington 2010
Sail Away 2015
I'll Follow My Secret Heart 2010
A Room With A View 2010
The Last Time I Saw Paris 2010
Don't Let's Be Beastly to the Germans 2015
Let's Say Goodbye 2010
We Were Dancing 2010
The Party's Over Now 2010
Matelot 2015
Private Lives- Love Scene Act 1: Someday I'll Find You 2010

Artist lyrics: Noël Coward