| Happy hour belongs to americas best-loved thugs
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| Here comes the 4-wheel prosthetic penises
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| Got yer gun racks, tractor tires and lynch mob drivers
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| We couldnt find a chick to sit in the middle
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| So we drink ourselves sick
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| Lean out the windows and pinch ass instead
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| We are the goons of hazzard
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| Glorified on your tv We run down bikes and hitch hikers
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| And we know well get off scot-free
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| Were the vigilante heroes of your tough-guy flicks
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| Bashing punks &bums and fags
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| With our baseball bats
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| No deer to blow away in the woods today
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| So we go to oroville and shoot a black kid down
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| Or waste demonstrators in greensboro instead
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| We are the goons of hazzard
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| Glorified on your tv We leave you in a pool of blood
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| Cos we know well get off scot-free
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| Lets get him
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| Cmere
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| Cmere
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| Say something to me?
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| Weve got him cornered
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| Weve got him cornered
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| Is anybody looking?
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| Does anybody even care?
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| No!
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| Local papers paint us up to be big heroes
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| City fathers &chamber of commerce want us deputized
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| The stoner gestapo keepin your town clean
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| Get a shave, kid
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| Well pay you as a strike-breaker
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| Maybe youll make tac squad for the l.a.p.d.
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| We are the goons of hazzard
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| Glorified on your tv We leave you in a pool of blood
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| And we always get off scot-free |