| He’s done it all a million times
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| The gags, the repartee, the little crimes
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| Every audience is special and that goes for you
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| He looks into your eyes again
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| He never does it but he tries again
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| That old boy lost look could bruise you black and blue
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| Everybody’s looking for a single row so they can be alone
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| Cos every time the lights go up, they’d rather be at home
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| I looked through all the wanted ads with a fine toothed comb
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| And all I came up with was another evening
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| Doing the same thing twice
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| That’s what I was doing
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| All the drinks that he’s been sinking
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| Never ask him what he’s thinking
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| Every audience is unique and that goes for you
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| Dead or alive you’re coming with me
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| Because everything’s my cup of tea
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| That’s why I’ve got a gold suit and some green italian shoes
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| Everybody says they had, but we all know they didn’t
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| It’s impossible to be a little bit pregnant
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| Give me the whole fruit cos I’m getting just a segment
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| And all I end up with is another evening
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| Doing the same thing twice
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| Well it hurts so bad to get this stoned
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| By ugly looking bureaucrats with ears like headphones
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| Reading The Sun, Sunday Sport, S. Ideal Home, Woman’s Own
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| Looks like you’re on your own
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| Bring me on the magic sponge
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| My dying gasp, my final lunge
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| It’s all over now bar the dance
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| Do it now but don’t get caught
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| I’ve been having third thoughts
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| They can be so clever, only when the script demands
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| You cluttered up the sky now so you can’t follow any star
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| Someone’s sitting next to you in an empty cinema
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| No-one wants to end up face down in a reservoir
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| And I don’t wanna end up with another evening
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| Saying the same thing twice |